Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Countdown to '08 - The Toronto Blue Jays

Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Claim to Fame: Last bastion of baseball in Canada
Notable Free Agent Contract: A.J. Burnett. He started all of this insanity. I could be making this up, but if memory serves, his INSANE (at the time) contract of 5 year/$55 million was completely outrageous. His career record at the time was 49-50. 1 game UNDER .500. Sure, he throws hard. Every single pitcher in the minor leagues throws hard. Let's wake up and smell the coffee, though, jeez.
Canadian Currency: The Loonie (are you kidding me? people sign 3 year/30 million Loonie contracts?!?!?!)
Food: Yellow Snow
2008 Outlook: Not-a-so-a-good

Listen, they're not the worst team in the world, and yes, the Vernon Wells contract was the absolute worst contract in recent history (thats right Giants/Barry're off the hook!!). This thing's a real doozy...check this out:

7 years/$126M (2008-14)
  • signed extension 12/06
  • $25.5M signing bonus (paid in 3 $8.5M installments, March 1 2008-10)
  • 08:$0.5M, 09:$1.5M, 10:$12.5M, 11:$23M, 12:$21M, 13:$21M, 14:$21M
  • full no-trade clause
  • Wells may opt out of contract after 2011
  • Wells to donate $143,000 annually to Blue Jays charity
Ok, let me get this straight. In what appears to be the most ridiculously structured contract in the history of mankind, long story short, he'll be making $21 million when he's 36. That's not a very good idea. Hey, he's good when he's healthy, but he's never healthy, 29 years old this season, and he's not getting any younger. They can never ever ever trade him, ohh, but at least he can walk away from the remaining $86 million left on his deal after 2011. And to balance it all out, the 'ol gent gives what appears to amount to half a game check to charity every season. WHAT A GUY.

The 2-2 to Bernie....Anyway, there just isn't much to say about these guys. We all know the deal. Same division as the Yankees and Red Sox. Better than the Orioles and Devil Rays (Oops, my mistake. They're the RAYS now...Believe me, there will be plenty written about that later) but what does that really say? They are who they are where they are. They signed David Eckstein. Hooray. Mix of vets and young guys, blah, blah, blah... Troy Glaus will play another 99 games and blow both knees. Maybe B.J. Ryan will actually play this season...who knows, who cares.

Blue Birds, it ain't gonna happen and everyone knows it.

Odds of Toronto making the Playoffs in '08: What are the odds of the Yankees' plane mid-air-colliding with the Red Sox plane? They say air travel is the safest kind of travel. Bad news for our friends to the north. Na-ga, na-ga, na-ganna happen.


Douglas said...

David Eckstein will save the Blue Jays...

Doc Holliday said...

Gustavo Chacin has a great pair of Rec-Specs, though.