Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Countdown to '08: The San Francisco Giants


"DAMN! I'm sure glad I didn't sign with those other Giants!"

Team: San Francisco Giants
Claim to Fame: Originally based in NYC, one of the most storied franchises in MLB history. From Bobby Thompson's "shot heard round the world" to Barry Lamar Bonds' 756th home run, this organization has seen it all.
Cause of Fall From Grace: Two Words. Barry Zito.
Was That a Bit of an Exageration?: Yes
G.M. on Suicide Watch/On His Last Hurrah With the G-Men: Yes
Manager Has Biggest Head in the Biz/Very Unusual Eyelashes On Right Eye: Yes

Ok, let's not sugar coat this. Things are not good in the Bay Area right now. The Raiders suck. The Niners suck. Although I only have minor experience in this area based on a friend of mine (what up Lucas!!!) I imagine even though the A's suck right now, the fact that they are so unpredictable and could be good at any time must just make dealing with those uppity fans intolerable. And to make matters worse, ever since Bonds' prime pt. II* (see below) when the team could have essentially marched a middle school JV baseball team out on the field behind the slugger, they just haven't been able to put it all together.

Why is this? I don't know. Why are teams bad? Are they poor? Nope, team's got plenty of cash and play in one of the grand stadium-jewels in all of baseball. I guess it's because of bad players. Why are there bad players on the team? I guess because the people who's job it is to get them aren't doing it very well. Brian Sabean's time has run out. There was a time when he could do no wrong and was revered as one of the top GM's in baseball. Those days have faded to black. His magic potion of 2 parts Rich Aurillia, 1 tbsp Kirk Reuter, a pinch of Shawn Estes/Russ Ortiz and a big 'ol heaping tsp of BONDS has run dry. I suppose he just doesn't get it anymore. Broom him fast and get one of those fresh faced 25 year old stat-head boy geniuses or gun slinging take-on-the-world minorities in the front office A.S.A.P. to right the ship!

They play in a tough division, the toughest in baseball from top to bottom for that matter. They're still riddled with old and decrepit players that have large contracts that just won't seem to go away. You'd think some of the typical things that tend to befall the elderly would just naturally happen to them, i.e. fall and can't get up/get lost in the neighborhood going out to get the mail at night after forgetting they already got the mail 6 hours earlier/take the wrong prescription meds and wind up in the 24 hour discount pharmacy at 1am complaining that "everything smells like tuna fish again!" But no, somehow they keep finding their way to the ball park each night.

And in case you were wondering, no, I'm not going to rant on the Zito deal. We all know what went down. He's not a bad pitcher, he's just not the 2nd best pitcher in baseball, which he's being paid as if he is.

Listen, it's obviously not all bad. PLENTY of young pitching all over that roster from the pen to the starting rotation. Lincecum is apparently the second coming of Orel Hersheiser, from the troublingly ghoulish and hard to look at face, to the little bulldog mentality, to the intimidatingly hard to pronounce last name. Rowand is a real nice player (getting paid too much) and will be around for a while. Good heart and soul kind of guy with a great glove. If they can get the rest of the old codgers in the lineup out of there sooner than later they just might be able to turn this around. And another thing, why don't people talk about defense as much as hitting and pitching? It's just as important. Ok, there's my next post.

Giants Playoff Chances in '08: MMmmmmm, no.

(* "prime pt. II (tm)" refers to ages 35-39. It is a new classification of that age period for superior athletes that through gene therapy and scientifically advanced supplements are able to will themselves into having a second physical prime that begins immediately after the initial biological prime)

1 comment:

Lucas said...

Reasons Sabean Sucks...
Major transactions last couple seasons
Players gone:
Francisco Liriano
Joe Nathan
Bill Mueller (let go to Boston right before he won the batting title, I know its been a while but Pedro Feliz has been the third baseman since... and I got walked more times the last time I was at the batting cages than happy peter)
Jeff Kent
Russ Ortiz (before injuries or suckit-tude)
Jeremy Accardo

Players Picked up:
Dave Roberts (Well he is 87 and a half years old... fuck it 3 year contract!!!)
Zito (tough to argue thus far)
Ray Duhram (Good for a grandpa with bad knees... fuck it 3 year contract!!!)
Ryan Klesko
Rich Aurillia
Rowand (Good player, dumb as a brick wall with dyslexia, but NOT a player to build a team around)
Armando Benitez (thought you'd like that one salami)

And my personal favorite
Batting Fourth... RAAAANNNNNDDDYYYYYY WIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN

At this point, no moves is good moves. Kill me. But on the bright side, if we outperform expectations we finish in 4th place, or the way I like to think of it: 3rd loser!