Friday, April 25, 2008

Creepy Comparison #20: Triple Threat Friday

Well, it's Friday, and since I'm busy (lazy) and AK is MIA on some bullshit work adventure that Uncle Walt probably sent him on, I'm going to do a slew of Creepy Comparisons.

First up (thanks to Ffej), the evil Xerxes from 300, and the evil face of the Miami Dolphins, Jason Taylor. I don't know how much longer Taylor will be riding topless on his Rollerblades around South Beach, but what I do know is I hope he meets a more gruesome fate than his movie counterpart. And by fate I mean that he's traded to Arizona so he can make plays that nobody cares about, therefore crushing his stupid ego. And hopefully he won't have anymore reality show appearances lined up in the near future, either. Saying you are competitive does not clear you of being a queen, Jay. Now go act like every other NFL player and twist out some strippers, fancy pants.

Being a Yankee fan, I don't like ripping on my own, but Hank Steinbrenner is one guy I fucking despise. His stupid comments, his lack of knowledge, his brash threats, even his inability to follow in his asshole father's footsteps makes me seethe. And he looks like a fat fucking pig, so here you go. Can't wait 'til Hank insults Andy Pettite and the fanatics from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints comes around and burns his house down. Please just shut up and go fuck your hand to "I Know What You Did Last Summer", fat boy.

What, JT's on here? JT? Wooooo, yeah, he's so hot (cue up both fat middle-aged women, and slutty college coeds fantasies about having JT do them on the bar of their favorite local watering hole). And who's that next to him? None other than the little bitch who pushes players from behind during mild skirmishes and then tries to act tough after he's ejected from the game - Mr. Jonny Gomes. You're on Tampa Bay, you fucking nerd, act accordingly.


AK-47 said...

Correct, Uncle Walt had me at a training meeting for 3 days.

Jeanette said...

this is absolutely hilarious! now I know what AK-47 does all day while he watches Mets games with his pant leg rolled up and his cap to the side HAHAHA LOVE IT!

Doc Holliday said...

AK is a HUGE wigger.

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