Thursday, June 26, 2008

Does Shawn Chacon Hav'ta Choke a Bitch?

A recent press release is reporting that Shawn Chacon has been suspended by the Houston Astros, indefinitely, for slamming and choking General Manager/invalid, Ed Wade.

This is amazing.

Before he Ike Turner'ed the old man, I never thought Chacon would take the long road off the reservation, but apparently, he didn't like the way this old whitey:

...was talking to him, so he proceeded to body slam him onto the floor, most likely causing the old man to shit his pants. I'm sure there's some structural damage to Wade's hip as well, because when you're 98 years old, even a slight bump can shatter the entire joint like it's made out of saltine crackers.


- Joba is the tits. Yeah, we all knew he was for real, but now I know it. This fucking kid can throw.

- If Jason Varitek gets the nod for the All-Star game over Joe Mauer, someone should blow out his tires on the Deegan. Fuck that over-the-hill antique who's going to be pushed out of Boston at the end of the year and shunned by the fan base when he returns to Fenway batting clean up for the Royals next year.

- The Cardinals rotation is like the Denver Broncos backfield: Plug in a 134 lb. valet parking attendant and he'll get you 90 yards rushing or a 12-8 record.

1 comment:

AK-47 said...

Thats a great analogy with the Bronco's and Cards. I can't wait to see Carlos Sliva and Vicente Padilla join Joel Pineiro, Todd Wellemeyer and Kyle Lohse next year to form the ultimate "Who the hell are these guys and how did they all win 13 games?!" rotation.