Thursday, June 19, 2008

When Good Italian GM's Go Bad

After hearing about J.P. Riccardi's most recent comments concerning Adam Dunn, I uncovered an extended transcript from the radio interview Riccardi gave. It contains a slew of other major leaguers J.P. does not have much respect for. These are all 100% real comments made by Riccardi (no).

C.C. Sabathia

"Now why would I want to go out and get fuckin' CC Sabathia? Give me one reason. His name sounds like it belongs to a fuckin' queer."

(Caller reminds Riccardi that Sabathia won the Cy Young last year)

"No he didn't. Gustavo Chacin won the fuckin' thing.. Call back when you get your fuckin' facts straight, cocksucka."

Manny Ramirez

"Why would I want this fuckin' guy? Oh! He's a fuckin' fanook. And he's a fuckin reetad! Look at him, he does all those mooley hand slaps with that other fat fuckin' dark-chink Ortiz - and he doesn't even like baseball. I bet he takes it up the ass, fuckin' cocksucka..."

(Caller asks is this is a fact)

"What? You fuckin kiddin' me? Yeah it's a fuckin' fact. Go ask Billy Beane."

Mike Piazza

"Mike Piazza? Who the fuck is he? I bet he's not even a real fuckin' Pizan. Best offensive catcher ever? Go fuck yourself...What's his lifetime average, .290, .300? Have yous ever seen how thick my fuckin' hair is?"

(Caller asks how his hair is relevant to Mike Piazza)

"Cause I fucked your mother, that's why!" (Riccardi laughs, and then punches his wife in the face for not stirring the gravy).

Ken Griffey Jr.

"This fuckin' Moolinya is overrated, ok? Next."

Alex Rodriguez

"Oh Marone, now this cocksucka is one piece of shit I can't stand. Remember when he yelled like a fuckin' (brings forearm into palm of other hand) behind John McDonald last year? If I wasn't preoccupied with the sweet sausages I had cooking on the fuckin' grill - the good ones from Arthur Avenue, Oh! - I would have strangled him my fuckin' self. A Vanculo! (flips back of hand under chin, then has red meat induced heart attack)"

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