Friday, July 11, 2008
Creepy Comparison #28: Charmingly Bad
There's one huge, gaping difference between the two faces above: Success...and popularity, and money, and dignity, and recognition...okay, there's a fucking ton. But who doesn't love a first round bust in the NFL, especially if it's a QB? Me, I'm a sadistic bastard - I fucking love to see teams overscout and then fail with their precious first rounders. J.P. Losman, the handsome, Hannakah celebrating man on the left, came out of Tulane a cocky, brash, gunslinging QB, who sometimes made poor choices on the field, and had a habit of folding like a fat boy under interrogation when presented with a box of glazed Krispy Kremes. But Losman interviewed at the NFL Combine well and showed off his cannon during his pro-day workout. Mental makeup and a tendancy to wilt under pressure vs. cool hair and the deep ball - which one do you take? Buffalo had a hard on for him, and now they're stuck with a multi-million dollar backup. Up yours, Ralph Wilson.
Sandler's still relevant, contrary to popular belief. But my problem with him is, he's relevant for the wrong reasons, and I think he has the mildly retarded majority of the movie-going American public figured out. Why make quirky, weird, creepy funny movies that develop cult statuses like he did in the beginning of his career, when you can make cheesy, hokey, I-want-to-club-everyone-over-the-audience-with-a-prosthetic-leg, unfunny piles of shit and make a assload of money? There's no reason not to, right? Where was I going with this. Oh, right, nowhere.