Monday, July 28, 2008
Creepy Comparison #31: Fat Old Men
Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN is as American as overindulgence and violent street crime. Deep down we all love it, even if it kills us. But my biggest problem with the telecast is that ESPN stuck two blabbering morons in the booth and asked them to announce a game. Maybe I'm just not happy about the way everyone hired by Walt Disney likes to bash the ever-loving shit out of the Yankees, but Jon Miller really, really gets under my skin. I can't decide if it's the way his neck gullet drapes down like a curtain of old skin, or maybe it's his hypnotic voice that lulls me into a dream-like state of security, and then drills me between the eyes with an over-the-top dumb comment with zero clout to back it up.
And I've always felt the same way about Ben Franklin. That fat fuck, who is he to get on the $100 bill? What did he ever do except plow slutty French chicks, hate black people, and fly a kite around in a lightening storm like your drunk neighbor who takes his pants off at the Little League field?