Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Head to Head: Which One Sucks More?


Right now, when discussing New York sports teams, there aren't many things to be thrilled about. Yes, currently, there is a media circle-jerk happening around Brett Favre, and it will continue to happen until he throws 7 INT's over the course of his first two starts, but when you take a step back and asses the situation, NY is hitting some hard times. And it's especially prevalent in baseball.

For this installment of Head to Head, we're pitting the Mets bullpen against the Yankees rotation - who sucks larger dick?

Mets Bullpen

- Perennial losing catalyst closer Billy Wagner is on the DL - his replacement is losing catalyst set-up man Aaron Heilman

- Heilman and cohort Victor Zambrano are to be indicted in the gruesome murder of Rick Peterson's career and hairdo vibrancy

- Most members will not receive Christmas gifts from the usually generous-around-the -holidays-without-the help-of-scotch, Johan Santana

- Current righty specialist (we have those now?) Joe Smith is proud to not have the most boring name in the country

- When clicking on a team depth chart, you do not want to see this many pitchers under the title "DL"

- Have three guys with last names ending in "z" - Gay


Yankees Rotation

- Anchored by Mike Mussina, who was removed from the rotation last August for being a fucking miserable prick(and pitching God-awful)

- Missing this guy...sniff

- Back three of the rotation are: #3, #4, and #5

- Andy Pettite thinks his biggest problem is runners have figured out his pick-off move - wrong

- Hearing "Carl Pavano makes impressive rehab start in AAA" is like hearing Krystal Steal say she wants you to "walk her home"

- Former rotation hopeful Ian Kennedy currently has the same value as a garbage bag full of rotting shit and a pack of Garbage Pail Kids, minus the stale gum

1 comment:

king dong said...

The Yanks are in far worse shape than the Mets. There rotation hasnt been this horrible in a decade.