Thursday, August 7, 2008

Welcome to the Field of Dreams

Welcome to New York, Mr. Favre, are you excited to be here? You are? Really? Well then, let me ask you a few questions...

Are you excited that you finally bailed on the fanbase that idolized you, and acted as if you were the second coming of Jesus Christ? Are you excited to play in the seasonally warm confines of (Giants) Stadium? Are you ready for the fucking Jersey Turnpike? Are you ready to face scrutiny after you throw an interception, even though you were just having a catch with Bubba Franks before stretching? Are you ready for Belicheck's sleazy cheating ways and extra-marital affairs with ugly Long Island housewives? Are you ready for the Hampton's and sex scandals with disease infested sluts like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton? Are you ready to take a back seat to Derek Jeter and David Wright? Are you ready to swooned by women with fake orange tans and huge fake boobies instead of fatso's in tapered jeans and mullets? Are you ready to trade in that gay cheesehead for a Fireman Ed hardhat? Are you ready to hold a dinner fundraiser in Manhattan and get stuck in tunnel traffic for an hour and 45 minutes? Are you ready to do bullshit photo shoots for fag magazines like Vanity Fair in Chelsea in 110 degree heat, surrounded by the hunger-inducing stench of rotting garbage? Are you ready to have every detail of your kid's lives splashed across the fucking tabloids?

But you just want to go out there and play football right? You just want a fair shot, I know, we all know. Well, you should have went to Tampa Bay, my friend, because there's no way you're filling the shoes of the guys who preceded you in the Green and White uniform. Guys like Lucas and Todd and Mirer and Eason. Titans of football. Perennial pro-bowlers and All-Pros, Hall of Famers.

So, let me ask you one more time - are you ready, Brett? Before you answer, feast your eyes on this lineup, and you may never feel the same about the New York Jets again!

Richard Todd

Pat Ryan

Ken O'Brien

Browning Nagle

Tony Eason

Bubby Brister

Boomer Esiason

Neil O'Donnell

Vinny Testaverde

Ray Lucas

Rick Mirer

Chad Pennington

Quincy Carter

Jay Fiedler

Brooks Bollinger

Kellen Clemens

And of course, who could forget, the man, the myth, the legend, the QB you will have to fight with until the end of time for the right to claim best NY Jets player to ever don the #4 jersey...


Who am I kidding, we suck...Have fun with the traffic, Brett. You better not blow too bad.


king dong said...

Favre is going to collapse in NY. He's got nothing left in the tank. Last year was a fluke.

Mister Turkey said...

The guy is a douchebag and I hate him. It's not news, but I like to take the opportunity whenever possible.