Monday, September 29, 2008

Brett Favre Saved My Life

This is not going to be one of my long stat-bloated posts. Since I'm lucky enough to have the massive forum that is WMHG, on this day of days I feel I need to use you, the loyal readers, to help me through this difficult time in my life. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment if you will:

AK-47
Born: December 4, 1982 in Manhassett, NY
Height: 5'10" Weight: 175lbs
Bats: Right Throws: Right
High School: Hauppauge High School (Hauppauge, NY)
College: Bucknell University
Fan of: NY Knicks, NY Mets, NY Jets, Bucknell Bison

As you can see from my stats, my sports world is in disarray. Consider where my head was at the exact moment before yesterday's Mets game...

-I've lived with the last 3 or 4 years of disastrous Knicks seasons. We finally got rid of Isiah but Marbury won't go away. This upcoming year is over before it started, in my mind. The whole season is worthless. My entire childhood they were one of the best teams in the NBA, and recently, they've become just flat-out hard to watch on TV. Verdict: HOPELESS

-The Jets were off to a 1-2 start. Not the end of the world, but we're not exactly flying out of the box. We have an 'easy' schedule for the next couple of weeks, but if we dropped the game yesterday 1-3 going into the bye week would have been a mini crisis. I was VERY worried about this game, but it was on at the same time as the Mets game so I had to DVR it. By the way, big thanks goes out to Mets play-by-play man Gary Cohen. Thanks for letting me know the Jets were up 31-0 at half time (actually 34-0) thus, leaving no reason for me to even watch what must have been the most entertaining game of the week. Verdict: TEETERING ON HOPELESS

-I went to the Mets game on Saturday. Johan Santana walked into Jerry Manuel's office after the Friday pathetic loss and said, "Ohh, by the way Jerry, I know I'm supposed to pitch Sunday but I changed my mind. I'm going to pitch a complete game shutout tomorrow instead." I was at that game. Needless to say, emotions were running high thinking we'd at least see a one game playoff tonight. Lose said playoff game, and we could have lived with it. After Beltran hit that 2-run game tying bomb and Milwaukee was still down 1-0 we were supposed to pull it out...It shouldn't have ended the way it did. Verdict: HOPELESS

See where I'm going with this...?

So, I submit to you that if the Jets did not win yesterday's game, I probably would have killed myself. 99% sure. Don't know how, because it would have been a kind of spur of the moment thing. Pills, hit by NYC bus, plenty of bridges in walking distance from my apt...but I would have got the job done, nonetheless.

But then, in my darkest hour, Brett Favre threw 6 TD passes, and saved my life.

Thanks, big guy.

1 comment:

Doc Holliday said...

Funny, I spoke to another one of my friends who is a Met fan and he seemed to be contemplating suicide.

C'mon, cheer up all you Mets fans, it's not like you just blew a 7 game lead with less than two weeks to go, right? Right?

(hit in head by orange and blue brick)