Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Fifth Horseman


Conquest...War...Famine...Death...Rays?

If you've been too busy sticking your nose up the DNC's ass, then you should wander over to baseball-reference.com and check out who has the best record in the American League as of today.

See it?

The Rays. And even though this story is getting staler than Kim Kardashian's breath after an all-night Reggie knobbing festival, I still need to weigh in.

Yes, this team is for real.

And even though I still stand sternly behind my belief that this season is not a miracle, but rather the result of several years of high draft picks and very stupid trade partners, I still think this team deserves some recognition. When you look at this roster and see who was added in the last year to help this team turn it around, you ultimately end up smacking yourself in the face and wondering why your underwear suddenly feels moist.

Well, maybe that's just me, but it's very, very surprising. Why? Because the list of Free Agent players or traded players added this off-season/season that have contributed reads as follows:

- Troy Percival
- Gabe Gross
- Cliff Floyd
- Eric Hinske
- Trever Miller

Really, really intimidating, right? Obviously that was a rhetorical question, because the answer is no. And to be honest, if I saw the above list posted somewhere eight months ago, I would have assumed it was a list of guys announcing their retirement, not helping a loser team reach the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.

Now Boston may be returning to form once their whole team comes off the DL, but I can't see them catching the Rays, because the Rays have something the whole AL East is lacking: Starting Pitching consistency. All 5 of the guys currently in their rotation are going to throw over 150 innings a piece. All 5 of these guys have winning records - yes, even Andy "How the Fuck Do I Get By With Zero Stuff" Sonnanstine.

Sonnanstine actually leads the team in wins.

(Takes out samurai sword, opens up gut with clean swipe)

It's the end of the world. The Rays are good. Lets all rejoice while mankind comes crashing down around us, coincidentally not hurting anyone inside Tropicana Field, because it's still fucking empty even though the team is in 1st fucking place.

1 comment:

AK-47 said...

Interesting Rays Starting Pitching Stat:
To go along with Doc's Innings comment, it's also of note that only 2 pitchers (for a total of only 7 starts) other than their 'Starting 5' have started a game for the Rays this year. Their starters have been that consistent and, yes, healthy (KAZMIR).