Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Clock is Ticking

This is pretty much it for the Rays. Joe Blanton and Ryan Howard just buttfucked this team with the mercy of a moderately hungry obese child stealing his baby brother's unattended ice cream - it was ugly. Chalk this one up for Camden, New Jersey's more-fuckable sister city. I'm being realistic as always, and not writing this to be like one of those dickheads who says shit to create "reverse jinxes" and then heads home to their basement apartment to enjoy several hours carousing the Internet for porn involving elderly men.

That's not me, that's not how I do. So, yeah, stick a fork in them. A big one. They're through.

And as I sat here tonight, pretending to be a real writer who has deadlines and word counts and actually makes a lot of money by ranting and cursing and screaming my opinion through the power of the blog, I decided I don't really care who wins. I'm done. I'm ready to move on. Let Philly take it, let their fans finally have their day in the sun, because the good Lord knows they will eventually take that day in the sun, argue with their spouse, verbally fight, physically fight, have police intervene, and end up looking at the bright blue sky through prison bars. And what if the Rays pull it out? Good, more shit to talk about, Philly melts in their own despair, very fun stuff.

Either way the 2008 World Series goes, I'm okay with the end result, and my staunch opinion has begun to wane - which is extremely rare when it comes to baseball, or maybe just sports in general, or food, or music, or mustache styles, or cab driver ethnicity, or the walking pace on a busy sidewalk, or well, every little fucking thing that goes on in this crazy moving on past this one subject should free up some more of my time so I can meet pretend deadlines and carry out other delusional tasks.

We all win!

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