Monday, October 27, 2008

Creepy Comparison #47: Fun with Glasses


Maybe I'm dating myself here, but if you don't remember the movie Dick Tracy, then you don't know dong about shitty comic adaptations from the late-80's. Al Pacino? James Caan? We all remember the last time they teamed up for a movie, ah? Ah? You know what I'm talking about...Throw in efficient wife-beater Warren Beatty, some Dustin Hoffman, Madonna (pre-fake British accent and aging disgustingness), Dick Van Dyke, and Paul Sorvino, and you got yourself an ensemble cast.

Putting it plainly - I was obsessed with this movie. I thought it was the equivalent of Citizen Kane, except much more violent and crowd pleasing. I remember being steamed that it didn't get nominated for an Best Picture that year - yes, at 9 years old, I had the self-absorbed upityness of a Park Avenue housewife.

Looking back on the movie now, I can't help but call it what it is - a piece of shit. And I find it hard to believe that even as a kid, I thought this was cinematic gold. But when I dig a little deeper, I realize there are a ton of red flags, making my childish opinion very suspect. For example, I went to see DT in the theater with two kids who legitimately couldn't read. In school, they were both assigned to the desk that had walls protruding from every side, except the sitting end, making it impossible for occupants to make eye-contact with anyone. And it wasn't a punishment, it was permanent. That was what educators in the 80's called "Special Education" - throw them off to the side, wall them in, and make them feel as ostracized as possible. Back to the subject - these two kids loved it, along with me, which makes me wonder, was I too, perhaps, a bit retarded? That's my assumption, but still, it pains me to see something that I thought was so amazing, actually be so fucking god-awful.

Anyway - the guy on the left is actor Ed O'Ross, who looks absolutely nothing like his character, and of course, soon to be irrelevant, but still toast of the American League, Rays manager Joe Maddon.

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