Thursday, October 16, 2008

Rotation Bound?


Hank Steinbrenner, in his infinite wisdom - and severe case of mouth diarrhea - is finally saying something I can agree with. No, he's not suggesting that he drive a stake through his own heart and then hurl his dying body off a seven story cliff - he's saying Joba Chamberlain will probably start in 2009.

Music to my ears, guys and...well, guys, music to my ears.

Now, I've had the "closer vs. starter" argument more than Joe Maddon's been called a "nerd", so I figure it's time I get it on down on paper, so I can simply refer people to my blog, and hope maybe they'll understand my stance, and then click on a "pee" link, just for the fuck of it.

Keep Joba in the Pen

It's easy to understand why you want a guy like Chamberlain coming in the eight inning - he assures the team that he will be a sturdy bridge to closer Mariano Rivera. And he's not only been a sturdy bridge, he's been absolutely lights out. Let's also not forget that he's timely with his advances on women.

For reference, his 2007 and 2008 stats as a reliever:

59 IP, 1.33 ERA, 78 SO, .167 BAA

It doesn't really get much better than that, especially for a guy who was blacking-out on Tuesday nights and plowing college groupies just two short years ago. Would it be the worst thing in the world if Chamberlain stayed in the pen? No, I can think of worse options - hint, one of them rhymes with BaTroy Bawkins.


Start the Chubby Bastard

In his brief, yet breathtaking run as a starter, Joba was dominate. Don't try and tell me otherwise, because my statistical analysis will fuck you up. And it will fuck you up good.

Check out these stats, and weep softly like the little bitch that you are:

12 GS, 3-1, 65 IP, 74 K, 2.76 ERA, .245 BAA

Yes, naysayers will continue to crow "How can you judge a guy after just 12 starts?" Well, after I'm done wedgying said naysayers, I will ask them if they remember the way Joba walked into Fenway and out-dueled Sir Shit Chin, Josh Beckett? If they say no, then I will cram their Banana Republic boxers so far up their ass, they will taste their own ball-powder.

And even though this one performance does not make a starter, but then again, it's not a bad place to start.

Look, the Yankees need a solid rotation, it's been 1/2 of their Achilles Heel for the past few seasons. They need pitchers who are confident, talented, and not named Sidney Ponson. And most importantly, they need guys who are durable. Yes, Joba had an elbow injury last season, but he came back and showed no ill-effects, and he has the body type to shoulder a 200+ inning season.

Here's a sweet little stat nugget: The last time the Yankees had 3 starters pitch at least 200 innings was the last time they went to the World Series - in 2003 (they actually had 4: Wells, Pettite, Clemens, Mussina).

Suck on that, people.

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