Thursday, October 2, 2008
We here at WMHG don't like to dip our fancy-pants into the treacherously unpredictable waters surrounding politics, for one simple reason - because it's fucking stupid. Yes, yes, I know all you blowhards are out there right now, gearing up for tonight's debate, no doubt ready to memorize a few stunad quotes so you can have something to share with your manager tomorrow at the water cooler, even though he's currently thinking of ways to fire you, you fucking brown-nosing bitch. It's topical! It's edgy! It's all the jazz!
(cocks pistol hammer)
Personally, I'm much more concerned about the state of the MLB playoffs than the state of the entire free world. The Cubs lost last night, The Red Sox won, and the whole thing has got my cotton shorts in a twisted, uncomfortable bunch. The Presidential Election? Who the fuck cares? We're screwed either way. You could resurrect FDR and JFK as running mates and our country would still be hemorrhaging financially like Jose Reyes at a gay strip club on $1 cock-slap-in-the-face night. So we might as well learn to speak Mandarin Chinese and move on with it. Let's just ignore the whole thing, like I do when A-Rod comes out of the dugout with his shirt tied up in a knot at his chest and brand-new frosted tips. Let's enjoy baseball. Let's enjoy the heart-attack inducing play of the Cubs. Let's stick our Jonathan Papelbon Voodoo doll continually in the crotch until our fingers bleed. Let's all join hands and fight for World series match-up that wont be a complete ratings bust, only so I don't have to read how big of a ratings bust the World Series was.
We can do this together. Sarah Palin? Joe Biden?
Meh, I'll pass.
But give me some Sweet Lou and some slightly tipsy Charlie Manuel and we got something to work with.
My name is Doc Holliday, and I approve this fucking message.