Sunday, December 14, 2008

#300 with a Bullet

To all of you out there with rosy cheeks and heightened blood pressure and watery eyes, worked up in a fuss over the Yankees latest signings, I have something I need to say. And this is directed to you, Joe Knowseverythingaboutbaseball from fucking Nutley, NJ, who can't stop whining and bitching and crying and bitching and moaning and crying and bitching about the fact that the Yankees signed two-whole-fucking free agent pitchers from a swelled buyers market, and in doing so, apparently brought on the Apocalypse. This is my message:


Seriously, get fucked. Literally and figuratively. I don't care who or what you fuck. Fuck a prositute. Fuck a tree stump. Fuck a hole in the ground. But do something, and do it soon, because you're all spun-up and tight on the inside. I mean, why else would you devote so many of your precious weekend hours to a no-holds-barred whiny bitch-festival pertaining to the Yankees signing CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett?

No good reason, right?

Then like I said, go get fucked...

(shoos away)

Can it be that people are still so fucking blind? In a world saturated with different ways to find any and all types of information, are there still people out there that refuse to acknowledge the facts? I guess there must be, judging by the amount of articles and Sportscenter spots and rag editorials centered around the Yankees decimating a pure and unmolested sport like baseball.

(uncrosses fingers)

So, Mr. Holier-than-thou, let me ask you this - do you honestly think that having a team and an ownership that delivers on its promise to put together a competitive team every single season is a bad thing? Do you like despair and rebuilding years filled with soul-sucking angst and misery, highlighted by greedy owners who pocket money and string together a traveling band of retarded has-beens? Do you think a salary cap should be implemented? Do you think the Yankees have finally outdone themselves and have finally crossed the line? When I ask you about other big-spending franchises like Boston, Chicago, The Mets, do you answer, "Yeah, but they're not as bad as the Yankees"?

If you answer yes to any of these, then you know nothing about baseball. Nothing. Not even a little bit.

To figure it out for yourself - read this article. Now, I don't take Joel Sherman seriously, because he's a sniveling shit, but this write-up worked. It will help you understand better that all those hours you spent pouting and wagging your finger and shaking your bald head were for nothing. NOTHING. And when you're finished, then you can go get fucked. I implore you.


Anonymous said...
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AK-47 said...

I'd also like to note that in cause the loyal WMHG readers out there didn't put 2 and 2 together....that was our 300th post! Hip hip...hip hip....!

Mister Turkey said...

I'm kind of curious to know what Necla had to say on the topic.

Also, congratulations on the 300th post because it means you're almost to your 450th post.

Doc Holliday said...

It was a spamming comment, I didn't realize it until after I hit 'publish'. There was some link that of course I clicked and I think it sent me to the homepage for fucking Al Qaeda.

Goddman those fat-fuck spammers!