Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ace in the Hole

If all the news reports are correct, C.C. Sabathia is headed to New York for seven years to the tune of $23MM a year. That's a whole shitload of money. That's enough money to buy 160 Carl's Jr. franchises. That's enough money to buy the whole country of Kenya (assumption). Imagine that shit, C.C. buying a undeveloped country with 160 different Carl's Jr. to choose from?

Sabathia, even though in my opinion he pales in comparison to Johan Santana, brings a new dynamic to the Yankees. He's a workhouse lefty to pair with Chien-Ming Wang at the top of the rotation, and he's still relatively young at 28. Sabathia has already proved his Ace stature when he carried the loser Brewers into the playoffs, and even though I highly doubt he will be as dominate as he was with Milwaukee, he will definitely be someone Yankee opponents will not want to face.

Another intriguing aspect about Sabathia is his makeup. The Yankees are used to retaining the services of, amongst others, steroid abusing psychopaths, weekend warrior pussy fatsos, brittle overrated B-starlet fuckers, retarded hicks, gangly awkward hicks, angry dad-temper assholes, and mute meltdowns waiting to happen. So, having a nice family man is plus, because I doubt fans will have to worry about Sabathia getting his teeth knocked out at an Upper East Side diner by a guy named Rocco from Yonkers.


AK-47 said...

Regardless of the money (which is a bit too much) or anything else, the bottom line is it's a good move and it's the guy the Yankees HAD to have. He's everything Doc said, the upside being a dominant ace, the downside being just a very good steady pitcher.

And, before anyone gets too picky about signing him, let's examine who said was the Yanks' starting rotation as of yesterday:

#1 Chien-Ming Wang (coming off injury)
#2 Phil Hughes (ohh boy....)
#3 Alfredo Aceves (doesn't he make pasta sauce?)
#4 Dan Giese (haha. no, really)
#5 No #5

Say whatever you want, too expensive, too fat...who cares. They needed him.

Doc Holliday said...

Do not let your allegiances blind, ESPN is retarded. The Yankees ALSO have Joba...which still makes up a poor rotation.

sal narducci said...

How many C-notes did cashman give Mr. October blew smoke up CC's much as I think it could be a good move for some reason I have a fear we are going to see that lard ass walking off the mound holding his shoulder

Doc Holliday said...

I think it needed to be done. The Yankees had too many holes in the rotation to survive.

Now the $66MM deal I hear they're offering Lowe is just plain stupid. He sucked in '04 during the regular season - 5.42 ERA - and he has a lifetime 6.08 ERA in the old Yankee Stadium.

xGooks said...

I think you are underestimating the level of sweatiness that Derek Lowe would bring to the staff and team in general. They should sign him and Jason Giambi back and have the All-Time Sweatiest hair team in the history of baseball.

On that notion, I just typed in "Jason Giambi" into google and this is the first image that comes up.

So, he's got that going for him.

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