Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Adios - The Wall Can No Longer Hurt You, Bobby

It may be hard to believe, but the know-all, know-everything writers around baseball were wrong about the Yankees offering arbitration to either Andy Pettite or Bobby Abreu, yet every fucking blogger from here to your mom's house knew otherwise.

(pats self on back)

Personally, I think parting ways with Abreu is a good thing. It's time to cut ties. Are you really going to miss his unnecessarily overcautious theatrics in the outfield, even though he's seventeen feet from the warning track? Or will you miss the moments right after he strikes out looking, and then laughs it up with Robinson Cano in the dugout?

Anyway, Abreu is going to join the Mets and get a multi-year deal that sends millions of Long Islanders into an uncontrollable fit of rage. And honestly, who doubts this will happen? Give me one reason Omar Minaya is not jacking off right now to a crisp bottle of Abreu's Finest, getting set to throw millions at Bobby's fat face?

On the other hand, the Yankees should definitely consider bringing Pettite back, who is not a bad guy to have at the back of a, as of today, relatively empty rotation. But not for $16MM. Yes, he's left-handed, but he wore down last season, and he's off the sauce, so let's just pencil him in for the four spot and 190-200 IPs, at $12MM for one year. Sound good? Good.

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