Saturday, December 13, 2008

And Another One

I've been accused of having an unfair and unwarranted hatred for A.J. Burnett. Obviosuly, I disagree with this accusation, because even though I do hate an absurd amount of players across the league, I usually have a good reason, or at least a reason that my twisted mind deems just. It's not like I look at a player and say, "I hate him" - there is a much more moronic and complicated process that evolves over a period of time. And Burnett has been through this process already, emerging at the end as someone I dislike.

So, why? Why this hatred? What can someone possibly dislike about a #2 starter who led the league in K's and dominated the AL East?

Well, where should I start?

1. Burnett has made 30+ starts in a season two times in his ten-year career
2. Burnett has pitched 200+ innings three times in his career
3. All three of those years were arbitration/contract years
4. He has nipple rings. Only gay guys and pornstars should have these things
5. He was drafted by the Mets, thus tainting him forever

I can keep going, too. I dislike his hickish hair, I dislike the fact that he has a weird heavy metal obsession (what is he, a 14 year-old rebelling against his strict parents?), I dislike his stupid goatee...honestly, the complaints are endless.

But, I must make due and let bygones be bygones. I don't want to see him fail, because failure means zero success for the Yankees. Am I excited to watch a pitching staff that does not include Sidney Ponson and Darrell Rasner? Fuck and yes. But I'm still leery, and I'm still not a fan of Burnett.

Coexistence and removed respect is more tangible than a blossoming adoration of him, so that's what I may have to shoot for. At least it can't be worse than watching the fucking circus rotation the Yankees trotted out last season, so that's a plus.


J said...

Joba has nipple rings...

All-nipple ring rotation AHOY!

Doc Holliday said...

Does he really?

If this is true, than I am mildly depressed by the lack of masculinity going on with the rotation.

J said...

Of course, Pete Abe had the low down...