Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Creepy Comparison #55: Prime Time TV

TV sucks. S-U-C-K-S. The amount of shit plastered on screen makes me want to vomit. Reality shows? Teen dramas? Hokey comedies? Fuck off, you can take that shit back to Mayberry. I want to hear that HBO has guaranteed 12 more seasons of "Curb Your Enthusiasm". Give me another year of George Costanza, please, I'm begging you. For the 22 minute dose of serenity I receive watching "The Office" - which is, sadly, in steep decline - I have to sit through a roll of 57 new shows about some 17 year-old brat with a trust fund and issues with her virginity, or lack there of. "The Simpson's" died 7 years ago. "Entourage" has turned into a metrosexual pile-of-shit - without the naked girls and Ari, it would be "Sex and the City", except the lead characters would have smaller dicks.

So, which show will be next to go?

But the television market is not entirely at fault. I don't watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and I don't have a proper excuse, so I deserve all the crows and insults I receive. I need to start watching "Californication" too. But still, there should be an abundance of shows out there calling for me, begging for my precious eyes and ratings.

There is one show that still has me in its grasp: "Lost". I've spread this show around to naysayers like fucking heroin, and not one of them has come back and told me they regret their addiction. It's a multilayered, sci-fi story with solid characters and great writing. Anyone turned off by the unearthly aspects of the story is either as dense as a puddle or an idiot - do you really want to watch a boring story about a bunch of damned people stranded on a tropical island? Fuck that.

There are three weeks left until the show picks up again. Up top is one of last season's villains, Keamy. And this guy wasn't your Mama's ordinary villain, there was no mental conflicts or "good guy deep down" scenes. He was a cold blooded murderer. Just like David Weathers is when he encounters a stash of unguarded roast beef sandwiches at Arby's.


Upstate Underdog said...

Seriously, you need to be watching "It's Always Sunny...". It's fucking hilarious. You can watch complete episodes of seasons 1,2, and 4 over at hulu.com. For some reason they only have half of the season 3 episodes.

I agree with you about the The Simspons. I still watch it with my wife and at the end of each episode I ask her, "remember when this was a funny show?"

Doc Holliday said...

The only thing about "The Simpson's" that I still enjoy is how the writers are mailing it in week after week, getting paid, and knowing there is a legion of morons out there who desperately believe the show still has "an edge" to it.