Monday, December 29, 2008

Off-Topic - Wiffleball

Another week begins without much to talk about - Fatso Brad Penny and retread Josh Bard are officially members of the Red Sox, Randy Johnson committed suicide over the weekend in the Bay Area, and pretty much everyone in the world hates the Yankees a little more right now after their 3 week rape of the free agent class. And for this guy, football is officially over - fuck you Brett, fuck you Eric, fuck you Mike Tannenbaum - so what else is there to talk about?

Fuck it, why not talk about wiffleball?

If you don't like wiffleball, than you're probably gay. Seriously, I hear that's how Hitler rooted out the homosexuals - he gave them a wiffelball and a lawn chair and asked the accuse to throw a curve and paint the edges of the plate. So, you can thank your lucky stars that Hitler's long gone, otherwise, you'd be fucking toast.

But I have many fond memories of wiffelball. We would have huge tournaments in college where people would come out and watch. Seriously, bands of un-athletic peers and tanked girls fiending for some competition amongst men would sit and watch a bunch of douchebags binge drink and scream about foul balls. I, obviously, would drink too much and by the time it was my turn to go onto the mound and pitch my inning, I would be too shit-faced to even see straight, let alone pitch around the steroid guy who could jack anything out into the parking lot. So, after throwing 100 straight sliders - the only pitch I knew - and letting up 5 runs, I would walk off the field, do a keg stand, smoke a soggy cigarette, and then fall face first into the bushes. God, those were great times.

Anyway, this video is amazing. Even if you have zero appreciation for the fine art of wiffelball pitching, this video is still entertaining.


Upstate Underdog said...

I'll admit it. I wore a plastic MLB fake batting helmet when I played wiffle ball.

Upstate Underdog said...

dammit I just read my comment needed to be approved. sorry for the double comment

xGooks said...

AK throws a ridiculous Byung-Yung style riser that is pretty much unhittable. I'm pretty sure one pitch can hit your toes and your head.

Also, I have a sinker that would make Brandon Webb wet himself.

Also, also - i love wiffleball.

AK-47 said...

I describe it as my toes-to-nose riser. My tagline was, "If it's on, you're gone."