Thursday, January 15, 2009

Creepy Comparison #56: Pure Genius

As a kid, I watched "Three's Company" like it was my job. What I could never understand, though, was why didn't John Ridder ever plow Suzanne Somers? Hell, she still looks good now, and she's 72. But back then, Jack was always stuck deciding between Suzanne and the gay chick that looked like a Japanese Anime character. Never understood that one...

Anyway, Mr. Furley - aka Don Knotts - was amazing. He was old and ornery - I'm guessing it was because of the hemorrhoids, but who really knows? One time when I was in college, two kids who lived on my floor were tripping balls on acid. They kept saying "Shhh, Mr. Furley is coming!" Then, they would laugh hysterically. Later on that night, they both walked into the woods and never returned. It was weird, but kind of nice that they included Mr. Furley in their drug hallucinations.

What's left to be said about the man on the left? He turned Jeff Weaver, Anthony Reyes and Jeff Suppan into World Series winning pitchers. He also made Kyle Lohse, Todd Wellenmeyer and Braden Looper not suck. He converts starters to relievers and vice-versa like he's buying cigarettes for minors - it's that easy. Meet Dave Duncan. He'll have you ready for Opening Day by next Tuesday. But make sure you call him "Mister" Duncan, that informal shit does not fly with him at all.

*All the past Creepy Comparisons have been tagged and numbered. Click on the keyword and enjoy a bevvy of our retarded jabber from the past year.

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