Friday, January 9, 2009

Manny + Scott + Ned = Spending Bonanza


Ned Colletti is as subtle as a prostitute on the beat. And this is why there is no doubt in my mind that Manny will get his money. Contrary to what some gullible writers were predicting only a week ago, Scott Boras has not, and will never, neuter the market for his #1 client. Although Boras has left a bad taste in some people's mouth this winter - Theo Epstein's shit-breath can attest - Ned Colletti has yet to be turned off by Boras's douchy negotiation procedures.

Anyone who has a half-a-brain never really believed Coletti was out of the Manny race. This is the guy who, over the past two off-seasons, signed several high-priced busts, including Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre, and Andruw Jones. So, why wouldn't he convince ownership to let him go after a sure-thing in Manny Ramirez, not only to secure a slugger, but to also bury his inept ability to gauge a player's worth? It's like planting a bottle of Popov vodka in front of a recovering alcoholic, one way or another, he's going for it.

Boras will do it again - he'll strike a deal and every GM across the land will come up with a backdoor story, instead of simply focusing on the fact that Boras has the black-magic ability to convince anyone to do anything. Just ask Tony LaRussa about the time Boras asked him for a ride home from the bar in Jupiter, FL. And once they're finished bashing Boras's behind the scenes tactics, they'll rave about how he's a snake, a liar, and a fucking hobo strangler. But come next off-season, they're all going to getting in line, waxing their hair and straightening their ties, ready to business with him once again.

In no way am I defending Boras as a person - I'd rather push him into a Crocodile pit than share airspace with him - but I do think if baseball wants to rid themselves of a problem, they need to join together as a group and fight it, instead of bashing Boras in public and then privately have a ball-cupping session with him.

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