Thursday, January 29, 2009

Marxism Alive in The Bronx?


Remember when Communism was all the jazz? The Cuban Missile Crisis - The Kennedy Assassination - Olympic boycotting - piercing alarms that signaled nuclear attacks - kids being taught to hide under their fiber-glass desks in case of an attack - our itchy-trigger-finger President getting a hard-on just thinking about wiping out those Red bastards - helluva of time to be an American!

And then that fucking Rocky Balboa had to give a speech that touched millions, essentially ending the war altogether.

Anyway, apparently the Yankees want to repopulate those bread lines. A recent report states that after Joe Torre's "scathing" tell-all book, the Yankees are deciding whether or not to add clauses into contracts that will stop employees from bashing the team once they skate out of town. Very, very 21st century.

Coincidentally, there is a similar clause in Alex Rodriguez's contract that states he will no longer be allowed to plow old, washed-up pop-singers, male or female. Also, all women within the organization - yes, you too Suzyn-fucking-Waldman - have been fired or exiled, all men are required to grow a thick, wintry mustache, and a statue of Josef Stalin playing Pepper with Kim Jong-il is to be erected outside Yankee Stadium's new front gate.

Nostrovia!

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