Saturday, January 3, 2009

Weekend Quick Thoughts

Here are a few thoughts I had over another Holiday weekend that will not include me popping nitroglycerin tablets as I watch a washed-up loser lob fluttering ducks into opponents outstretched arms:

- Cleveland dealt a trio of prospects to the Cubs for utility extraordinaire, Mark DeRosa. Here's one thing that especially bothers me about some scout's take on DeRosa - they always say he's a great "situational" player. So, someone who bats .275 against righties and .310 against lefties is best suited for situational play? These are some of the things that make me think most scouts are full of shit. I'd take DeRosa any day of the week. He can play 3B, 2B, OF, he can even scalp fucking tickets in the parking lot - what's not to like?

- According to some writers, Brian Fuentes has some lofty shoes to fill in Los Angeles, taking over for Frankie Rodriguez as the Angels new closer. Well, I disagree. If you take away a meaningless stat like saves, here are their lines last season.

68.3 IP, 77 SO, 2.24 ERA, 1.28 WHIP

62.7 IP, 82 K, 2.73 ERA, 1.10 WHIP

You can argue the NL-AL transition case all you want, but Fuentes closed in a stadium that some 4'10'' douche like Ryan Seacrest could hit 20+ home runs in, annually.

- Andruw Jones and the Dodgers have come to an agreement to part ways. If I'm Ned Colletti, the only way I'm letting this guy leave town with his money is if he plays 17 straight rounds of Russian Roulette against Christopher Walken's character from "The Deer Hunter". Jones is top 5 worst free agent signings in history.

- We all know Brian Sabean is worthless. He has the business savvy of a train-hopping hobo cracked out on mescaline and wood glue. So, my only words of advice to him are: Sign Manny Ramirez, and pay him whatever he wants. I don't care if he requests a clown to follow him everywhere he goes, including into the showers, just do it. He will instantly make your diarrhea offense somewhat respectable.

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