Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Baseball's Brett Favre?


Nothing - and I mean NOTHING - gets sports reporters and sports analysts all hot and bothered like a player saying he loves to play the game. Megan Fox could be lying naked on a bed eating a perfectly ripe banana with her legs tucked behind her head, and the reporters would be more absorbed with how said player gets up at the crack-of-dawn to shoot a bunch of Canadien Geese with a potato gun and then sling a tennis ball to his 13 year-old mutt named, "Hammer", 3,500 times before breakfast.

I've seen this love connection happen a million times. And now it's happening again.

Soon to join the ranks of those fawned upon and lavished with lengthy praise for being "gritty" and "American" and "not black"? San Francisco's own Tim Lincecum. And if he continues to add to last year's dominance, he could produce a Brett Favre-esque crush with the media. Anytime Lincecum appears, all analysts and color men will be contractually obligated to discuss just how much Tim loves to play baseball. They will asked to produce quadrants graphs detailing how much more Tim loves baseball than all of his teammates. One of these men will almost assuredly makes the assumption that Lincecum would "play for free if he could". All will agree with hearty laughs and more bullshit banter. A circle jerk will ensue, and mediocre America will fall head-over-heels in love with "The Freak".

I of course, will be the guy who's lifeless toes gently bump the bathroom door, about twelve inches from the floor...


BallHype: hype it up!

1 comment:

J said...

You son of a bitch.

/totally undraftable