Monday, February 2, 2009

Billy Beane Supports the McGwire Day Camp

Billy Beane is watching you sip that coffee. He's watching every single drop dribble down the paper cup and enter your esophagus. He counts how long it takes you to take each sip. He's judging you. He's ranking you among other coffee drinkers. He is criticizing your use of Splenda. Beane like the good stuff. He likes Domino.

Beane's demi-god influence over all facets of life and his player's training regimes has obviously filtered into new Oakland A's slugger Matt Holliday's bloodstream, since Holliday has taken it upon "himself" to seek out Mark McGwire for some offseason "training". Also working with McGwire is oft-injured shortstop and former rookie of the year, Bobby Crosby, who I'm sure Beane feels owes him a first born child, or maybe a second born too, since Crosby routinely pulls a hammy before St. Patrick's Day.

To be honest, I like seeing McGwire back in the baseball world, working with the "kids". And not because there's a chance he will once again weep in public, but because he deserves something better than the raw deal he is currently being served. My only issue is - if Holliday goes out and starts banging home runs off the Coliseum's rafters, how long will it take for some beat-writer from the Valley to start questioning McGwire's training camp? On a PR level, is Beane making the right decision by letting his players coerce with an accused member of the Mitchell Report? And most importantly, can Billy Beane really see everything I do? Does he know I ate that three-week old turkey? Does he know if I'm going to get sick from it? Please, tell me before I get stuck on a subway or an elevator and have to make a drastic and potentially life-altering decision...

Wait...where am I right now?

BallHype: hype it up!

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