Friday, February 6, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Avian Flu Hits St. Louis

Q: How do you know that your team is having a bad offseason?

A: When your team's GM has to hold an online chat just to assure the entire fan base, "Don't worry, we know what we're doing...honest! Everything is going to be juuusssst fine."

Q: How do you know when said online chat isn't going very well?

A: See Below.

"MLB Cardinals VP & GM John Mozeliak yesterday during an online chat on fired back at an angry fan, vigorously defending himself and the team. The fan asked Mozeliak, "Describe what it's like living in your little land of make believe where you honestly believe that Cardinal fans should be excited about this team. If you wouldn't mind, go into details, about how in MO's world people are celebrating ... three horrible new lefty relievers, and the signing of our awesome new SS Khalil Greene." Mozeliak responded, "First I'd rather live in my world than yours...It's not that we stink (unless you ask yourself these questions in the mirror) and we make decisions based on scouts, stats, and other information. If we thought Greene was going to hit .213 we would not, I repeat, not make the deal. Go back to your world and I hope by mid-summer you're ready to come out for air"

(, 1/21).


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