Friday, February 20, 2009

Creepy Comparison #63 - The Closer


I've been severely unimpressed by most of the new shows HBO trots out, as of late - "John from Cincinnati?" How about "Gay-Nerd from Nerdsville"? "Carnivale"? No thanks, I like my shows to have some sort of cohesive plot line. "Deadwood" was solid, but I knew it wouldn't last, because most viewers prefer shows where 4 unattractive sluts fuck their way through Manhattan's male population. Even "Entourage" got all gayed up over the last two seasons - who knows where the HBO exec's heads are stuck at?

But when I came across promo's for Adam McKay's new show, "Eastbound and Down", I knew it had the chance to break the slump. Mixing the perennially underrated Danny McBride, Will Ferrell, and McKay, gives you the perfect formula. Kind of like heroin and ice cream, with less touches with death.

The premier episode made fun of fat people, fat kids, drugs and drinking. Oh hi, best-show-ever. And I'm sure the rest of the season will only get better. Which brings me to the latter half of our equation: The awful and mildly retarded Mitch Williams.

Can't figure out why I'm taking shots at him? Go watch six minutes of him on "Hot Stove" on the MLB Network, and you'll want to take a soldering iron to your eye sockets. He's the real life Kenny Powers - the title character from the show - only he gets paid a lot of money to tell me stuff I already know. He sucked as a closer, and he sucks as an analyst. A drunken John Rocker was my first choice for the position (especially if he's sitting next to a terrified Harold Reynolds) but no, the MLB Network had to hire this monotone bag-of-shit who doesn't understand "relevance", and stammers through his uninsightful and pointless rambling like a virgin trying to score his first prostitute from an Asian pimp.

1 comment:

Mr. A-Hole said...

Mullets and staches, I love it!