Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Let's Summarize Today's Events

Soooooo, let me see if I got the gist of the whole press conference today:

A-Rod said he bought over-the-counter injectable supplements off a donkey cart manned by Maximo Gomez in the Dominican Republic, while drinking Mamajuanas with a buzzed Santa Claus and a shit-faced Hanukah Harry, under the guidance of Juan Gonzalez his "cousin" , and decided to use these steroids supplements without consulting any experts or professionals, and continued to use them for only the duration of his stay on Texas. Is that right? Does that sum it up?



Well...I'm sold!

When's the first Spring Training scrimmage again?

BallHype: hype it up!


xGooks said...

I didn't realize all he needed to hit 50 home runs was a little extra "energy". If someone of, say, not a gay persuasion or just a plain liar, decided to get more energy, perhaps they'd go to bed earlier and eat some grapefruit or something. But no, instead, let's shoot up with some of this boli shit. Ya, that's obviously on the up and up.

They don't sell 5-hour energy in the "DR"? Obviously, you have to be in NASCAR to take it.

I'm going to pelt him with a Monster Energy drink when I (never) see him.

Doc Holliday said...

Yeah, or drink coffee, or do some coke - either or will suffice.

I wouldn't even shoot a basketball in the DR, let alone steroids.