In an offseason marred by a blond-highlighted drama queen fessing up to steroid abuse, frugal General Managers avoiding the free agent market like it's infested with salmonella, and the Yankees throwing around cash like David Eckstein at Comicon, there is still one daunting question that is driving me to the brink of epic madness:
WHY THE FUCK ISN'T MANNY RAMIREZ SIGNED YET???
And more importantly, why isn't the public more troubled by this? Can anyone give me a cognitive reason? No? Well get your heads out of your collective asses, because this is one case of martyrdum I'm not going to stand for.
Yes, I get it, he bent Boston over and gave them a thorough rogering this past July. But doesn't anyone find it redeeming that, after arriving in Dodgertown, he absolutely dominated every single ball that floated in his direction and single handily took the team to the playoffs? He hit .396 over 50 games, and then hit over .500 in 8 playoff games. So what the fuck?
Some people say it's Scott Boras's fault that Manny is still unsigned. Well, to be frank, these people are fucking stupidly retarded. Boras has plenty of clients who have signed with teams this offseason. Even Atlanta's brass - who are notoriously jewey with the wallet - shelled out a hefty sum of cash to sign Derek Lowe.
Other detractors will say it's Manny's on-field behavior and immaturity that's kept him from locking up a deal. Really? Immaturity? Has he ever threatened to kill an opposing TV announcer? Has he ever thrown a bag of balls at an umpire? Has he ever tried to physically attack an ump? Has he ever LEAPED INTO THE STANDS TO ATTACK A FAN? No, I didn't think so. But Milton Bradley has. And he got a three year deal from Chicago, so suck on that.
Manny's the best right-handed hitter of this generation, and one of the most feared players of all-time. Any team that signs him immediately gets better, not only on the field, but attendance-wise. So, all those owner's who bitch and moan about being broke and hemorrhaging money in a tough economy, they need to look no further than last October to see what Manny did for L.A.
And as for Ned Colletti failing to lock up Manny, well, as I've said a million times over, if I was a Dodgers fan, this moron would be getting no love from me. And maybe even a few spiteful letters of disapproval. That would really show him.