Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Roger Clemens Likes a Hot Soak and a Needle Poke


This just in from the super-gay newsroom: Roger Clemens was injected with steroids INSIDE OF YANKEE STADIUM! Right under our noses! And it doesn't end there, either - it happened while he was sitting in a hot tub...with Brian McNamee! Oh my God, this is the queerest shit I've heard since Clint Eastwood's singing solo at the end of "Gran Torino".

Wash your hands!!

And speaking of unhygienic practices - How dare you, Roger? How dare you sully the house that Ruth built? What's that? Yes, I am fully aware the stadium was renovated in the 1970's, and it isn't technically the same "home", BUT IT'S STILL SACRED!! It's hallowed ground! Did you know Mickey Mantle once fucked a groupie, drank a quart of whiskey and ate two cheeseburgers, all between a half inning? Now that's the kind of story you want associated with the Cathedral of baseball, not some faggoty romp between some Texan and a squirrely canary nerd.

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