Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Continued Idiocy of Ned Colletti

Who is this "Pedro Martinez" that everyone is talking about? Is he some sort of pitcher? Is he available?

(is informed he once played for Dodgers)

Really? Did I sign him?

(is informed that no, he did not)

Did I trade him?

(is informed that no, he did not)

Do you know where I left my good sunglasses? I had to steal a pair out of the lost and found this morning, and they smell like an armpit. I'd really like to get my old ones back, if possible.

(is asked if he checked in his car)

Hmm...I can't say that I have. Do you know where my car is? I wonder if I left my gum in there as well. I have this brand new "teeth whitening" gum that I saw on the supermarket check-out line last night. It's fantastic. Do you know if I left that pack of gum in my office?

(is informed that no, it is not in there)

Well, I need to get some more as soon as possible, alright? Make that priority #1.

(is asked about Pedro Martinez)

Who's that?

(is informed that he is who they were discussing before he went of on another demented incoherent rant)

Oh, right. Do you think he would he be willing to a sign a twelve-year deal worth, oh I don't know, say $100 million dollars?

(blows brains out)


AK-47 said...

I hate it when I can't find my good sunglasses.

xGooks said...

I thought you never take your sunglasses off. How do you lose them?

TO said...

It's true, they never leave his face.