Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Derek Jeter Contract Quandary


Even the most hardcore Red Sox fans (named Sully, Murph and O'Reilly according to that herb over at ESPN) agree that Derek Jeter is the kind of player born to lead a team. They may blow their brains out moments later, but they will admit it. And with me, all homerism aside, I couldn't think of any other Yankee lifer who could fill the shoes as well as Jeter has over the past ten seasons.

But NY - especially NY writers - have gotten that itch. The itch that starts creeping along when a player's production begins to decline. It happened with Paul O'Neill, and it happened with Bernie Williams. All of a sudden, they're expendable. And there's one dickhead in particular who has made it his mission to push Jeter out of the Bronx, because every time the baseball headlines dry up, and A-Rod goes on the lam for 24 hours, he brings up the question (obviously more than once): what happens when Jeter's contract expires after next season?

First off, if you consistently read Joel Sherman, you know he's not a terrible writer. Not by any means when you compare him to the retards The Post and The News has on staff. But he does have a raging hard-on for Jeter - in a bad way, not in the hot-chick bends over at the CVS check-out to grab a pack of gum good way. I'm positive that sometime in the past, Jeter snubbed Sherman in some shallow way that Sherman has yet to get over. Maybe he didn't give him a fist-pound after a World Series game, or maybe him and Scotty Brosius pants-ed Sherman in front of Erin Andrews, or maybe Jeter fucked Sherman's wife - who am I to speculate? But the fact remains that Sherman hates Jeter. And he's the mob leader fanning the flames around the the contract situation.

To sum it up, The Captain's contract expires at the end of 2010. He'll be 36, keeping par with his statistical decline, but also nearing the 3,000 hit mark. For me, there are two factors in this equation that decides whether or not to keep him: 1) Does he accept a shitload less in annual salary? And 2) Is he still one of the AL's top shortstops?

Huh. what's this? I though because certain statisticians locked away in a cave by Elias Sports Bureau without food, water or toilet said Jeter sucked, then he sucked?

Well, you've been mislead, my dear friends. He doesn't suck. From from it. In fact, go ahead and name 5 AL shortstops who had a better offensive year than him last season. Go ahead. Name them. I said name them you fucking coward...

Yes, that's right, Jhonny Peralta and...and...Yeah, exactly, no one. Jason Bartlett? Nick Punto? You could make a case for Michael Young, but Jeter hit 15 points higher, had a higher OBP and a higher SLG percentage. And I understand that people say it's the money that makes him overrated, but you can bet the bank that he accepts a decrease. If that happens, there's no reason not to keep one of the better offensive catalysts with the team.

So until Jeter completely shits-the-bed, catches a flesh-eating disease from some washed-up starlet, or a replacement comes along, Joel Sherman can take his thesis, his attitude, his Jew 'fro, and his fucking glasses, and walk into oncoming traffic.

11 comments:

AK-47 said...

I respectfully disagree with 1 of your points. Why does he have to accept less money?

I agree that not only is his leadership important, but his skills must remain good in order to warrant a new contract.

However, when it comes to matters of finances, we're talking about the Yankees here. Normal rules of logic do not apply. Pay cut, pay increase, it's irrelevant. If the decision is made that Jeter should be resigned, then the discussion is over. The contract will be worth $X,XXX,XXX...who really cares?

Doc Holliday said...

The point is - if he's resigned, he will not be resigned for the amount he was making in his prime - which was obviously above-market value.

Plus, he busts more boxes than a drunken FedEx driver.

Zach Martin said...

I don't think anyone argued that Jeter was a bad offensive SS, just that his defense is beyond terrible. He hasn't been a top defensive SS ever, so that's not really an issue. The issue is if his offense can make up for his defensive inefficiencies at 36. That is still to be seen.

To be honest if Cabrera only got $4MM then Jeter is worth about $5MM at the very most and that is for nostalgia alone, but he will demand in the $10MM range, which means very little to the Yankees, as money is not an issue. The point is that Jeter is gay, not sexually, of course, just in a baseball sense.

Doc Holliday said...

When talking Jeter's defense, please remember that he has to turn double plays with a man that has cinder blocks instead of hands.

xGooks said...

he deserves to take a significant pay cut because of his ridiculously gay decision to stick his ass out almost to the point that he is sitting on the face of the guy on deck if the ball is on the inner half of the plate.

maybe he likes sitting on guys faces.

maybe he likes f'ing jessica biel.

i hate him.

Doc Holliday said...

I'm going with the latter. Don't forget about Scarlett Johannson...and Jessica Alba...and Jordana Brewster...

I think I hate him too, actually...

GM-Carson said...

Jeter will be worth 6-8 mil per season when his current contract expires.

Mister Turkey said...

I think he's cute. But just in a baseball sense.

SmartyBarrett said...

Even the most hardcore Red Sox fans (named Sully, Murph and O'Reilly according to that herb over at ESPN) agree that Derek Jeter is the kind of player born to lead a team. They may blow their brains out moments later, but they will admit it. And with me, all homerism aside, I couldn't think of any other Yankee lifer who could fill the shoes as well as Jeter has over the past ten seasons.

His refusal to stand up for teammates, his repeated throwing A-Rod under the bus, and his all-around bitter jealous attitude towards A-Rod really scream out "CAPTAIN", don't they? WHAT A LEADER!

Doc Holliday said...

@SmartyBarrett

Jealous attitude toward A-Rod? Are you watching games in Bizarro World?

And as for sticking up for teammates, Jeter gets hit by more pitches than Bud Selig does at a Player's Union charity softball game.

Pete K said...

Pedroia will wind up being twice the ballplayer Jeter ever was ( MVP ) The MVP of the '00 Series was a gift from the ass kissers who love to see him on tv selling the "lovable" Stankees He should retire instead of hanging around to be some charity case. If he played outside of the Amer. League east, especially Boston, or NY, he would be considered a good SS at best.He's over the hill