Thursday, March 19, 2009

Far East Exposé


If you're anything like me - ignorant, surly, drunk - then you probably have the same view on Japanese baseball as me. I always *says in douchey voice* assumed that all Japanese were quiet, respectful, well-mannered and familiar with Karate. Well, sometimes you don't see the reversal coming until it's too late and your on your back being pummeled in the face by the girl you just poured your drink on...

After reading this article, I was sort of shocked. The Japanese are surly - just like me! In fact, they are fucking nuts, when you really break it down. Here are some things I bet you didn't know about Japanese baseball behavior, because you're too busy being culturally ignorant like me...

  • Japanese Managers often put their hands on umpires. And even after shoving or checking an ump, they sometimes stay in the game. Can you imagine Lou Pinella hip tossing the home plate ump and then making a pitching change?
  • The Japanese have a designated "cheering section", comprised of dozens of brain-numbing air horns and thumping bass drums. Sort of like a ride home on the 6 train, same volume, except less of that charming piss/shit/vomit smell.
  • American Tuffy Rhodes was 1 home run shy of tying Japanese legend Sadaharu Oh's home run record of 55. He was intentionally walked the rest of the season. Bud Selig should have taken note of this when Bonds was creeping in on Hank Aaron.

Enlightened? Shocked? Ashamed for not knowing any of this? Me neither. But I am glad to know that everything portrayed in "Mr. Baseball" was fairly accurate. I don't think I could take anymore falsity by Tom Selleck.

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