Monday, March 16, 2009

Robby and Stealing

It wasn't too long ago that Yankee fans, and Yankee officials alike, were fawning over the prospect of Robinson Cano. Yours truly jumped on the Cano/Melky bandwagon too early, not realizing that they were fucking idiots...So what triggered all the excitement? Maybe it was because Cano was the first minor league player to come up through the Yankees system in almost a decade who didn't completely suck, had a chance at stardom, and wasn't named Colter Bean or Drew Henson. Or maybe I was just still in shock from the '04 ALCS.

The horror, the horror...

Now, barring a Chad Curtis Christ intervention (never say never) this love affair is about to come to an abrupt halt. It's no secret that Cano isn't the smartest guy in the world - he's proved that time and time again. But hiding an injury is a new low, and his explanation for said injury is a new retarded. Cano says he didn't hurt his shoulder during the WBC - he hurt it before! Oh, now that fucking clears it up!

I understand certain ethnicities feel a strong bond with the country they were born in - I do not, because I am a red-blooded, fat, spoiled, bratty American - but to risk your health for some bullshit tournament is grounds for dismal. When the Yankees toyed with trading Cano in the offseason, I was against it. If they revisit those talks, God bless - if you need me, I'll be cleaning my car with my Cano jersey and picking up dog shit with a "Got Melk"* t-shirt.

*never owned one, because they are super-gay

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