Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What Aren't You Telling Me, Cole?

"C'mon, would I be smirking like a jackass if I WASN'T fine?"

Phillies young-gun Cole Hamels is having an MRI today due to some "tightness and inflammation in the lower part of his elbow". He claims there's nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, and wants everyone to just move it along. That's right, just keep moving...

Sorry Cole, that's not going to happen. Mr. Hamels has obviously never heard of the simple principal that condemns him to doom, and labels this small blip on the radar as an H-Bomb to the Philadelphia Faithful. A movement of science so unstoppable it makes sabermetricians and meat-heads alike cringe in despair. It's called "The Verducci Effect".

The Verducci Effect is based on an article Sports Illustrated writer Tom Verducci wrote some years back in which he stated that when a pitcher increases his innings workload from one season to the next by more than 30, the effect can be disastrous. Cole Hamels threw about 189 innings in 2007 and about 262 innings in 2008 (both season totals include postseason innings). That's an increase of 73 innings. UH OH. That's a Verducci death sentence.

Mmm, now doesn't that sound good? I think I had a Verducci death sentence last Saturday when I went out for Italian food. It's this rigatoni dish with spicy sausage and heavy cream.

Maybe Cole should have one to lift his spirits. But if I were him, I'd hold the fork in my right hand.

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