Monday, April 6, 2009

Creepy Comparison #67: Maybe it's 'Cause I'm Irish


If I could have anyone in the world narrate my existence, it would be Morgan Freeman. Forget Michael Douglas, forget David Keith, forget Gene Hackman. I want Freeman.

For example:


INT. LOWER EAST SIDE BAR - DAY
A harrowed man drinks from an amber bottle, alone, ignoring the raucous crowd around him. He looks beaten and tired. His eyes tell the story.

MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)

The beer was more than a drink to the good
Doctor - oh yes - it was more than just a
drink indeed. It was cold and brisk, like a
winter morning. The smooth taste reminded
him of the days when he was a young man,
alone in this world, walking amongst giants
and thieves and cowards who haven't quite
realized the horrors of growing old.



Anything close to that is better than you saying in your head, "I need to take a shit..." And it doesn't matter if Freeman's announcing to the world that he has a raging case of hemorrhoids or announcing that America just bombed Tehran, he still sounds more sophisticated than anyone I know.

As for Jerry Manuel, I respect the way he handles the media and I respect the way he handles cry-baby Jose Reyes' brat tendencies, but the glasses, lose them. Managers get paid some nice scratch, you're telling me he can't swing for LASIK?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha. Jose Reyes a crybaby, that may or may not be true, but please a little respect for Doc Holiday is the lord of the crybabies. Why dont you do everyone a favor and just jump off a ledge you miserable bastard.