Wednesday, April 15, 2009
AJ, I apologize. I apologize for hoping you got hit by a car on your way to sign a contract with the Yankees. I apologize for calling you "soft" and "weak" and a "sopping wet bitch". I apologize for egging your house and throwing rocks at your windows and keying your car...Okay?
I'M SORRY! I'M FUCKING SORRY ALREADY!
(sobs quietly into Melky Cabrera t-shirt jersey)
Last night's pitching performance was a thing of beauty. Fuck the blown no-hitter, and the two runs; it was the best start by anyone on staff so far this season. Before going into the stretch and losing his rhythm, Burnett was making players look ridiculous. Not stupid - ridiculous - like the way you look when you tuck your pants into your socks when you go hiking because you're scared of ticks...fucking nerd...
But please, A.J., all I ask is that you don't let me down. I'm not one who reacts well after a player sets lofty expectations only to let them come crashing down. Remember this guy? I was positive the Yankees stole him away from Colorado. And remember this guy? Yes, I may have been drunk that whole year, but I was sure he was destined for great things and double-digit home runs for years to come.
But back to the topic at hand...
If what the media says about Burnett learning the tricks of the trade from Roy Halladay last season is true, then Yankees fans are in for a treat. If he can stay healthy and not throw his arm out, he has a legit shot to be the most dominate starter on staff. And that also means the rest of the A.L. East is going to pay...with blood.