Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Alcohol Banned in Roger's Centre


People who don't drink at baseball games: Pregnant women (except from the Bronx), children under the age of 12, people in AA and...Canadians?

Apparently the garbage-heaving Canucks were a little too much for those mounties to handle up in Toronto, because the Alcohol and Gaming Commission suspended the Roger's Centre liquor license for three days.

Here are a few suggestion for all you Molson-loving drunks who just can't bare the thought of watching a whole nine innings without coming milliseconds away from pissing your pants or threatening a seat usher.
  1. Drink on the way - that's what the car's cup holders are for
  2. Drink in the parking lot - see above, less fun but less dangerous
  3. Boycott these three games and drink at home - because really, it's not like Toronto's breaking any fucking attendance records or anything.
It's just a thought. Or fans can go enjoy a nice, quiet contest without any sound, at all. Like Communist Russia!

1 comment:

Mister Turkey said...

Or you can turn your "Stadium Pal" catheter's urine pouch into a makeshift flask to help maintain your buzz during the game. Not the best-tasting option, but an option nonetheless.