Monday, April 6, 2009

It's Probably Because of Something You Did


An Major League Opening Day* marred by rain is like staining your brand new t-shirt with spicy mustard, or stepping in shit with new shoes, or finding out your girlfriend is cheating on you with a movie star - not world-ending, but more than just mildly annoying.

So why did God chose to soil such a great day? Why not tomorrow, when every team inexplicably needs a day off after one game? Why have games already been canceled? Is there no break in this shit? Can't we fit in 5 innings? How about 4? We can finish up tomorrow. I need baseball. If another person invites me to an NCAA finals party, I'm going to accept the invitation under false pretenses and upper-deck all of their bathrooms - methodically, one by one - until their day is as ruined as mine...


*Real Opening Day, not that ESPN 2 one game bullshit last night, and every season for that matter. And by the way, fuck you to both the reigning world champion Phillies and the Mets. Why the Mets? Because they should have signed Lowe, that's why...

1 comment:

AK-47 said...

I must say, you're right about Lowe. F Oliver Perez and his shoddyness, they should have paid the extra cash and gotten who whould have been one of the best #2 pitchers in baseball.