(cue John Williams music)
But we're here to change all that. It's at this crucial time in history that we've decided to show you that no matter how bleak things may seem, life, in the end, is indeed fair. The lord works in mysterious ways: He can giveth, and he most certainly can taketh away. In the case of many players in the MLB, the former is in the talent department, and the latter is in the looks department.
Aaron Harang - Zombie King, leader of the un-dead
For all you ugly S.O.B.'s out there, don't lose hope!