Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Ozzie Guillen's Stupidity Strikes Again
Let's play the hypothetical game here for a moment. Let's pretend that you just left a team that you legitimately underachieved for. But the underachievement wasn't all your fault. You were miscast, batted out of place in the lineup, and butted heads with the manager. Then let's say you leave this team for a new team in the offseason, via trade. On this new team, your old talents and motivations return. You start off the season as one of the hottest hitters in baseball. You then - in the midst of enjoying a sweet two weeks of baseball - tell a second-rate hometown news rag that your new manager is your favorite ever. Now let's say, your manager from your last team is insulted, and decides to make a comment, because he is absolutely, positively unable to keep his broken-English spewing, fat-fucking-mouth shut. How would you feel?
Well, ask Nick Swisher, because he will forever have this bumbling retard of a manager from Chicago following his quotes in any newspaper they appear in.
Now, my hatred for Ozzie is beyond shallow - in no way is it attributed to the defense of Nick Swisher. I've always hated him. I hated him in his playing days, and I especially hate him now. I don't think there's anything good about having a manager that runs his mouth and responds to dumb shit written 1500 miles away without prompt. He's an asshole. He's a puckered, goateed asshole. I hope he goes on vacation in the Philippines and disappears. If he is never quoted again, it would still be too much for my precious ears to handle. Just hearing his name makes me want to ignite TNT next to my eardrums so I will never have to hear such spewing nonsense for the rest of my deaf life.
So, is Nick Swisher to blame for Ozzie's comments? No, because who the fuck cares who Nick Swisher says is his favorite manager of all-time? What is this, fucking 5th grade? Is former Oakland manager Bob Geren losing sleep over Swisher's comments? No, because he is not a festering dickhead. But Ozzie is. And he cannot handle seeing what he believes is a slight. But until those cowards in Chicago's front office decide to do something about it, we the baseball public, will be continually reminded that there are brain-dead assholes evaluating lineups and forming rotations in major league baseball.