Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Secret to Greinke's Success


The baseball world is enthralled by the sudden dominance of Kansas City Royals pitcher Zach Greinke. And rightfully so, Greinke is thoroughly punishing opposition each time he takes the bump. So what's the secret to Greinke's transformation from anxious, depressed sky's-the-limit prospect, to dominate Ace on the upswing?

I assume his remedy goes something like this*:

.20 mg of Prozac


.50 mg of Zoloft


.25 mg of Xanax


1/5 of Jack Daniels


1 gm of cocaine


2 huffs of model glue



Add this up and it equals: 6-0, 0.40 ERA, 54 K's, 0.84 WHIP, and 2 Complete Game Shutouts


*Yes, I am fully aware that taunting and laughing at the sick gives you a first class ticket to hell...

1 comment:

Rance Mulliniks said...

Wow, I take that same med cocktail and I get cold sweats and the shits in my parents basement. Greinke gets on the cover of Sports Illustrated.