Tuesday, May 12, 2009

When in Doubt, Make Some Noise

Roger Clemens is once again under the scrutiny of the public eye, and not just for those super-gay frosted tips and douchetastic golf visor. The crack team that makes up The Daily News "sports investigation team*" is set to release yet another book - "American Icon" on how many times Brian Macnamee drank Miller Lite's stuck needles in Roger's ass.

Clemens' latest defense has to do with the fact that physically, his body could not handle the effects of PED's, because heart problems run in his family. He references that his brother had a heart attack in his 40's, and his step-father died from a heart attack. He forgot to mention that he was flooded with his step-father's blood at an early age to fuse that gap that's caused when a son rebels against his remarried mother.

But seriously, who out there actually believes, after the outings of A-Rod and Manny, that Clemens didn't do steroids? Not only is there suggestive proof, but he's thrown everyone under the bus that is even remotely connected to him, instead of admitting it and trying to save face. But no bother, because the bigger question is, does anyone really care about this shit anymore?

*I picture this "crack team" to actually be a bunch of old, overweight men in short-sleeved button-down shirts, sitting in the basement of a local YMCA, smoking Camel Lights and lobbing out bullshit retread ideas for a book concept, but actually believing that they're about to top the literary genius of, "Ulysses".

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