Wednesday, June 3, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: We're Out!

It is a sad, sad day here at Why's My Head Growing, because as of today, we are closing the doors for good. It was a good run - almost 2 years, but the times thay are a changing. And it's not you, it's us. We did this...We did this. Shh, shh, it's going to be okay...I know all 27 of you readers are upset, and we thank you from the bottom of our blackened hearts for sticking with us. But before you delete this link from your bookmarks, I want to let you know that there is a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. Because in death, there is life. In life, there is remembrance...or some hokey fucking shit like that.

So, I'll be continuing my high-blood-pressure hate-fueled tirades over at 3:10 to Joba (Full URL: 310toJoba.blogspot.com).

They've been gracious enough to take me in with open arms. Or with brutal indifference, but who's counting, really? But they're good people, and And by "good people" I mean "sarcastic assholes who appreciate the fine art of insult and mock". They encouraged me to bring over some of our retread unique featured posts, so you'll be reading the same shit, just on a different site! WHO'S FUCKING PUMPED?

I predict that I will assimilate smoothly.

Here's one more video for the road before I go. I'll be listening to Bob Seger in the car if you need me.




CLICK HERE TO 3:10 IN CASE YOU MISSED THE OTHER PLUG

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Creepy Comparison #75: Cougar Mania


When Ashton Kutcher started bagging Demi Moore, I know most of you had the same reaction as me: Fuck you. Yes, that's right. Fuck him for bagging a cougar that is filled with so much artificial ingredient, she will probably look amazing until the day she keels over. And to top it off, not only did he woo Demi Moore, but he also befriended her ex in the process, Bruce Willis. Well, you gotta give respect in that regard.

Now, Justin Masterson, he's another story altogether. I fear him. Seriously. Because when Jonathan Papel-asshole's shoulder dislodges and his arm tears off and whacks some Portsmith hick's head sitting in the stands, Masterson will step in and make the seamless transition to the closer role. He has a 3/4 delivery that throws batters off, and his fastball consistently hits the mid-nineties. I'm convinced he could be a dominate starter as well, but I'd rather have to face the guy only when the Yankees are down and facing a loss.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Another One Joins the Ranks


John Maine is headed to the DL. Is there no end in sight for the growing list of injured players over in Queens?

I think the Mets can take solace in the fact that they're winning games even with half their team beat-up or down for an extended period of time. It also builds character. Like cutting the lawn. Who likes to mow the lawn? It's hot, it's fucking arid, dirt gets in your mouth, your friends drive by and yell shit at you. It sucks. But apparently it makes you a better person. So hopefully the Mets can look at these injuries, and the holes in their rotation and lineup, and pretend it's like mowing the lawn.